All About the Best Man

All About the Best Man

From the Origins of a Best Man to How to Write a Best Man Speech Format – Getting it Right!

Best Man Speech Format: Read Our Tips

Before you get asked to be a best man, the best man speech format might seem like an obvious one but once you are actually put in the role, it can be difficult to nail down the ingredients! 

Depending on your rela­tion­ship with the groom, a best man speech can vary greatly. Whatever your rela­tion­ship with the groom, be it he’s a friend or sib­ling, the most impor­tant thing is that you deliver on the fun­da­men­tals. It’s impor­tant not to put too much pres­sure on your­self because you’ll end up mak­ing your­self ner­vous and it could impact on your deliv­ery. Try to be calm about it whilst also mak­ing prepa­ra­tions for it; “wing­ing it” shouldn’t be one of your thoughts. As the famous say­ing goes: Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail. So that’s where we come in with this post which hope­fully will help you in your speech prep’. In terms of the absolute essen­tial ingre­di­ents to a best man speech and its for­mat, below is a basic one: Introduce your­self because you shouldn’t assume that every­one knows who you are. Say who you are, and how you know the groom.

  1. Introduce your­self because you shouldn’t assume that every­one knows who you are. Say who you are, and how you know the groom.
  2. Thank the groom for invit­ing you to be the best man.
  3. Read out any cards and notes from friends/family who couldn’t be there on the day.
  4. Include some anec­dotes or sto­ries about the groom but keep it clean and try not to include details about ex-girl­friends.
  5. Offer some advice about mar­riage to the new­ly­weds, mak­ing it seri­ous or humor­ous to fit in with the tone of your over­all speech.
  6. Say some­thing nice about the bride e.g. com­ment about how pleas­ant and pos­i­tive a per­son she is.
  7. Compliment the brides­maids, for exam­ple by say­ing how well they look.
  8. Propose a con­grat­u­la­tory toast to the newly mar­ried cou­ple.
  9. Once you are fin­ished, intro­duce any­one else that is due to give a speech such as the Father of the Bride.

Good Best Man Speech Examples 

This best man deliv­ered a relaxed speech and it had humour and emo­tion. He didn’t have it learned off which shows that a suc­cess­ful speech can be deliv­ered using paper prompts if it’s deliv­ered nat­u­rally and with glee like this best man. 

This best man deliv­ered a relaxed speech and it had humour and emo­tion. He didn’t have it learned off which shows that a suc­cess­ful speech can be deliv­ered using paper prompts if it’s deliv­ered nat­u­rally and with glee like this best man. 

Even though this best man reads out his speech directly from his notes, he deliv­ers it with a nat­ural and relaxed flair. He reads slowly, clearly and loudly and it is witty through­out. Note how his speech has all the main ingre­di­ents: intro­duc­tion as to who he is, his rela­tion­ship with the groom, wel­com­ing vis­i­tors, and ele­ments of humour. 

How to Write the Best Man Speech 

How to Write the Best Man Speech

So to get down to actu­ally writ­ing the piece there are a num­ber of point­ers that you can fol­low. Below is a list of lit­tle tit-bits of infor­ma­tion about the cou­ple that you should gather together. Remember that this day and speech should be all about them. Of course focus in on cer­tain cute anec­dotes about your friend, the groom and your own friend­ship but there needs to be some con­tent about the couple’s rela­tion­ship which will make it all the more emo­tive. Of course the con­tent that includes the cou­ple needs to be appro­pri­ate and suit­able to be told to the masses and not some sor­did secret about them or any­thing that has the pos­si­bil­ity of embar­rass­ing them in any way. If in doubt, leave it out! 

> Background Dates. How long have they been together, how long have they known each other?

> The Bride to Be. Although your speech is not about her exclu­sively, you must give her a para­graph of her own. This might be some­thing about the first time you met her or some pos­i­tive attribute about her.

> Why They’re a Good Match. It might sound a tad seri­ous but their union is seri­ous so it will hit the right tone.

The next seg­ment will be the harder ele­ments. You need to be care­ful about the con­tent but not too restric­tive in your deliv­ery. Try to find a happy medium but again…if in doubt, leave it out!

> A Funny StoryThis could be your make or break for a suc­cess­ful speech. 

Some Do’s

Tell it slowly and clearly; you might be excited to tell it but try to keep it clear for those in the whole room to hear. Have a begin­ning, a mid­dle and an end to the story but don’t let it drag on…brevity is key! 

And Don’ts

While ex-girl­friends are not out of bounds as a topic, it’s prob­a­bly best if you can to avoid them. Aim for the story to be between 150 and 300 words oth­er­wise it could drag on for peo­ple. Don’t make any sto­ries up as you run the risk of insult­ing those that you include. 

The Best Man Speech: The Nervous Moments

Even the most pro­lific of speak­ers will have their ner­vous moments. Sometime nerves can be a good thing because they cause a per­son to focus the mind on the chal­lenge at hand. Adrenaline starts pump­ing and this can help you to be ener­gised and deliver a speech filled with emo­tion and energy which is what you want. So don’t look at nerves as a neg­a­tive; turn them on their heads and use them to drive you for­ward! 

This is a use­ful video to help you calm your nerves when prepar­ing for your best man respon­si­bil­i­ties.

Some Tips for Dealing with the Nerves:

  1. Don’t drink too much in advance of the speech or it will impact on your deliv­ery in a bad way. One or two drinks are fine to set­tle the nerves but no more than that.
  2. If you feel your deliv­ery is being affected by your nerves, explain that to the audi­ence; they will under­stand that you are not a pro­fes­sional speaker, nor do they expect you to be, so go easy on your­self. By explain­ing to the audi­ence that you are a lit­tle ner­vous, your admis­sion out loud will also help to calm you.
  3. Start slowly and have your notes to hand but try not to read them with­out look­ing out to your audi­ence. Take deep breaths before you stand to take the mic and focus on doing on your best.
  4. Have a glass of water close by that you can use to clear your throat. Taking a drink dur­ing the speech will also help to soothe you and allow you to time to relax between seg­ments.
  5. If you find that your voice is trem­bling, take a drink of water, take a cou­ple of really deep breaths and try again.
  6. Speak clearly and loudly. Speaking in a low voice shows your lack of con­fi­dence but no mat­ter how ner­vous you are, be sure to sound like you are con­fi­dent by rais­ing your vol­ume level.
  7. Keep your head up and stand up straight. Find a spot on the wall above your audi­ence and focus on that. It will appear that you are look­ing at them but you won’t actu­ally be dis­tracted by any­one.

So that’s our advice for deliv­er­ing a well pre­sented best man speech! The main thing to remem­ber is that you should be hon­oured to have been asked to be a best man so savour the moment and try not to put too much pres­sure on your­self. Enjoy the day, relax but don’t lose the dia­mond ring

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